ingles!

some people criticize me for not wanting a child of my own without asking the real reason. humans are just to quick to judge. they call me selfish,cold hearted bitch. i cant blame them,with our culture where a woman is expected to conceive a child. its not ordinary. i grew up without my mother by my side. it doesn't mean i love her less,but i love her more for her sacrifices. its hard for both sides but i understand at a young age that its for our future.  she left us for work when i was 8 years old leaving me with my siblings and my father. my father is a good man but he is a man, a mothers care is still different. having no mom to attend to our needs is hard not just for me but for my brother and sister who is just 2 years old that time,a baby. i need to stop playing and grow up fast for them. i forgot about me and i think of them most of the time. our relatives were fucked up individuals who kiss arse those who have money. unfortunately we didn't have any money so they didn't bother to help us,they even mock us being the least favorite. at 9, i was already a mother to our family. while other kids are playing, i was bc preparing dinner. my father needs to work to make ends meet so i was the one who mind our home and my siblings. even my mother send us some money,still aint enough for our expenses. ive tried goin to  school without any baon because my brother needs it more than me and my uniform crumpled bec. i have no more time left to iron. one stupid teacher lectured me for not ironing my uniform when she knows that i didn't have my mother with me. i was fuckin 9 that time,bc with my family and she expects me to iron my uniform?! my pops ask some of our relatives to wash our clothes but they demand high price. we were so poor back then but they didn't reconsider. at age 10 i hated all of my relatives mostly at my fathers side and even my siblings doesn't have any amour on them. my mother side tried to help but they live afar from us. the good thing is my siblings learn to be independent. my brother learns to cook and my sister wash the dishes. iam proud to say that the three of us can live independently. life gets better as we grow older. money talks,everybody listen. as our family income goes higher,relatives swarm to offer their so called help just when we can pay people to do things for us. too late for that help i guess.
ive come too far in explaining my side, all i want to say is iam done with motherhood. all my mother instinct were gone,i gave it all to my family..